i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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