sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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