There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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