Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize