the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
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The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
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This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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