Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
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No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
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There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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