connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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