we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So apparently I’m into choking now
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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