shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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