I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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