i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize