I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
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i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
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I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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