You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
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Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
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At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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