i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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