My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
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I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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