Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
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I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
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Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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