I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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