woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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