The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize