Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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