I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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