Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize