The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize