A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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