It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Boobs are out for the taking
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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