Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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