Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
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