Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize