So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize