bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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