whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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