too bad you live with your parents still
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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