thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
you had me at cake vodka
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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