I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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