White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
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It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
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I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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