I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
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the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
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He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Bring me that man meat
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize