So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
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just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
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Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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