you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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