We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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