Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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