The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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