Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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