I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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