What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
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today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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