So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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