He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
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He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
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He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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