he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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