see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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