I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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