Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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